Quote from Chad Z. Hower:
When a manager says:
If it will take you 4 weeks, 4 of you can do it in a week, right?
What a manager means:
4 weeks = 4 developers x 1 week = 4 weeks x 1 developer. Why not? It computes! Algebra does not lie.
What a developer hears:
I guess he thinks 9 women can make one baby in 1 month.
Now I know that people buy Open Source solutions all the time, but this just struck me as very funny. I was filling out another one of those free subscription forms and there was the question:
What solutions are you planning/looking to buy in the next 90 business days?With one of the answers as
Open Source Solutions (ie: Linux applications)
A lot of people will argue that the only advantage of Open Source is that it is free as in price, but obviously if people are paying money for it then there must be other advantages.
Since it runs 24 hours if you tune in any time during the day you will find something to listen to. You can post questions either before it starts, or live. After the event it over they are planning to provide downloads for those of us who will not be awake all 24 hours for it.
I have always liked Zig Ziglar, and now this is probably one of my favorite quotes of his:
The only thing worse than training good employees and losing them is NOT training your employees and keeping them.
Sure Zig is a trainer, but it is still very true. I've worked places both that lost a number of their employees as soon as they trained them, and others that never bothered to train anyone. The place that was loosing their employees as soon as they trained them just created a compensation plan to make it worth their while to stay. The place that didn't train anyone found their good employees left to find some place that would train them, and they were left with the employees that didn't care to learn anything anyway. Hint: Employees that don't want to learn usually are not the kind of employees you want to have.
Thanks to KeyStone Learning Systems for donating a copy of their Delphi 2005 Video-Based Training Course for give away tomorrow. They also have a discount code available for everyone else.
KeyStone Learning Systems has announced a new video-based, instructor-led e-learning course for Delphi 2005™ coming later this summer. As a member of Boise Software Developers Group you have access to a special 10% pre-order discount.
“In today’s market, a developer must become as familiar as possible with the tools used to craft robust software,” says KeyStone Learning Systems instructor Jeff Bosworth. “There are currently very few courses available that address the richness of Delphi 2005 and its ability to help you build better software faster. The concepts and features presented in this course will give you a keener edge toward the most productive use of Delphi.”
This new Delphi 2005 training course will give you a head start in preparing for the Borland certification exam when it becomes available. Certification in Delphi shows your employer and/or customer that you will save them time and money by speeding the delivery of their software requirements.”
Instructor Bio: Jeff Bosworth provides 30 years of experience in the IT industry and most recently directed the creation of courseware and certification programs for all the development tools crafted by Borland™ Software Corporation. Jeff holds several certifications including Borland™ Master Instructor/Developer, and has written and taught courses on Delphi™, JBuilder™, and Kylix™ to a worldwide audience for 10 years. He has also presented product tutorials at several BorCons.
Boise Software Developers Group Offer Details: Take advantage of this special offer, and to view a detailed outline of the course contents.
When purchasing, proceed to the checkout and use the special promo code for your user group discount.
Delphi User Group Promo Code: Delphi10
C: You shoot yourself in the foot.
C++: You accidentally create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is impossible since you can't tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at others and saying, "That's me, over there."
Java: The garbage collector collects the bullet before it impacts your foot.
C#: Just like Java, except the bullet occasionally hits your foot. Unfortunately the speed is so slow it doesn't break the skin.
FORTRAN: You shoot yourself in each toe until you run out of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of bullets, you continue with the attempts to shoot yourself anyway because you have no exception-handling capability.
Pascal: The compiler won't let you shoot yourself in the foot.
Ada: After correctly packing your foot, you attempt to concurrently load the gun, pull the trigger, scream, and shoot yourself in the foot. When you try, however, you discover you can't because your foot is of the wrong type.
COBOL: Using a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place ARM.HAND.FINGER on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN return HANDGUN to HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be re-tied.
LISP: You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds...
FORTH: Foot in yourself shoot.
Prolog: You tell your program that you want to be shot in the foot. The program figures out how to do it, but the syntax doesn't permit it to explain it to you.
BASIC: Shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol. On large systems, continue until entire lower body is waterlogged.
Visual Basic: You'll really only appear to have shot yourself in the foot, but you'll have had so much fun doing it that you won't care.
HyperTalk: Put the first bullet of gun into foot left of leg of you. Answer the result.
Motif: You spend days writing a UIL description of your foot, the bullet, its trajectory, and the intricate scrollwork on the ivory handles of the gun. When you finally get around to pulling the trigger, the gun jams.
APL: You shoot yourself in the foot, then spend all day figuring out how to do it in fewer characters.
SNOBOL: If you succeed, shoot yourself in the left foot. If you fail, shoot yourself in the right foot.
Unix:% ls foot.c foot.h foot.o toe.c toe.o % rm * .o rm:.o no such file or directory % ls %
Concurrent Euclid: You shoot yourself in somebody else's foot.
370 JCL: You send your foot down to MIS and include a 400-page document explaining exactly how you want it to be shot. Three years later, your foot comes back deep-fried.
Paradox: Not only can you shoot yourself in the foot, your users can, too.
Access: You try to point the gun at your foot, but it shoots holes in all your Borland distribution diskettes instead.
Revelation: You're sure you're going to be able to shoot yourself in the foot, just as soon as you figure out what all these nifty little bullet-thingies are for.
Assembler: You try to shoot yourself in the foot, only to discover you must first invent the gun, the bullet, the trigger, and your foot.
Modula2: After realizing that you can't actually accomplish anything in this language, you shoot yourself in the head.
-Anon
